okay this is the first time im touching my com since the beginning of the week. this week has been C-R-A-P. like totally. one disaster after another. like i wonder if it could get any worse. oh poo. i bloody wanna get an A for my english, but looking how my chinese turned out, i could propably just forget mass comm and jc la. knn. later gotta meet clique to go central clarke quay area to buy prom shit. gahh. LAZY. it's so FAR. RAWR RAWR RAWR. yesterday night went out with jas to study at some orchard road burger king. lol. we ate pepper lunch! i arrived home at twelve thirty. so EARLY. -.-

ming wei and me.

nana and me.

random?

us.

stc softball.

sasha at first.

sasha later.

juniors and senior.

ah yuan and me.

tess and me.

nat and me.

nat AFTER.

ms quek.

oh, she DOES smile?

she's angry again?

thanks junior for my cupcake.

bonding.

ants stealing our food.

dinosaur and scallop.

we had FUN!

Friends Forever. (what the hell is amanda doing?)

SCREWED. UNGLAM.

olympian model. we won second.

me, smint, jaz.

PL and me, and EXTRA.

Love.

us.

me and smint. simin acting cute.

jams and sa cheng.

PL and me.

shobs and me.

evangeline, sw, and me.

well this is it for the sports and celebrations. softball will be next.

haha okay. well. yesterday was BLOODY FUN. heh. it had two major events, national day celebrations/olympic games and softball farewell. alot of pics taken so i'll split the pics in two posts. heh. oh wells. yesterday was so fun. heh. the games were crazy shit. pfft. tug of war.. i'm proud of our class. we did well. :) good job everybody. the last lake, i nearly had my arm severed off. haha. it got twisted at a weird angle, kena rope burn too. after that, my arm kept shaking. haha. oh wells. sports challenge was fun. mm. for once the LD performance was quite oaky, though i had no idea what it was about. -.- later we had the community bonding shit and it was bloody fun. i started going crazy and pushing people around. i sweat like a pig then.

HAHA. softball farewell was better than i expected. maybe cos there wasn't anyone to ostracise me. HAHA. ms quek did all the BBQ-ing. we just ate, the lighthouse became infested with ants, cos we spilt alot of stuff. we had to drown all of them. HA. so sadistic.the juniors went crazy later, throwing water at each other, having water fight. lol. even heather's slippers caught thrown up to the roof of the lighthouse! haha. she was damn pissed. the whole team started grabbing tennis balls and footballs and threw it at the show, hoping to throw it down. it was superr funny. standing on chairs and table didn't help. in the end, i tied the dustpan to the broom, stood on the chair and swept it down. lol. heather kept hugging me. funny like hell vivo-ed with idiot and sasha for a while. i kept cwalking and sasha kept whining about it. she's super funny. met sylvia's max and jovi too. HOHO. well enough talk for now. PICTURES.

i just realised it's no fun being online now, now that night studies are on, cos apparently no one's online. how surprising. it seems i'm not the only goodu not mugging. oh hell. pfft. todayw was a wasted day. in fact, i'm starting to think that on days that i pontang school, they seem of no use now, cos i actually waste my time. take today for example. i woke at 9, and used to com for a while. just as i was about to settle in on some work, my dad goes " you want go bowling?" and sandra, being me, couldn't say no -.- so off we went. i met ying hui's mum again. -.- and i bowled like crazy. -.- my middle finger hurts like shit now. how ironic. oh joy. by the time i got home was about 3. and i didn't get down to studying till about 6, thereafter i stopped at 7. if i should have been at night study today, i would ahve covered more in the 3 hours than i did today. oh well. got new tons of math to do now. pfft. and chem. gahhh.

i hate you o's.

as usual, i still found time to break at cwalk. gee. i actually cwalked at 10pm last night. crazy shit. today too. even at csc. i tell you, cwalking on the bowling floor with the bowling shoes are the best surface to cwalk. pfft.

this few days have been real hectic. gahh staying in school up till late. pfft.
today i didn't go. or rather, i don't think my body could take it anymore.
ben's sorta disappeared, i guess he needs his space, i'll just do my stuff myself then. one thing though, gyming's gotta stop soon. oh wells. guess that's all for now. i just am damn sian. rawr. my phone is like useless to me now. no messages coming in. rahh.

it's four in the morning and the only thing i seem to be doing is pumping caffeine into me. am i out of my mind. geez. my body clock's all wrong. i should be asleep. damn. i feel like a soldier put at the front line of the war. everyone knows, the frontliners are always the first to die. but what am i dying for? a bunch of textbooks? a bloody dpa into a poly? or a one way ticket to hell?

the saying "life's a bitch" really fits perfectly to a T. everything moves so slowly, not the pace i want, but the countdown, that's the bitch that keeps shrinking. oh damn, just shoot me. gone with the wind are the times i sat and read, or just rocked to music. yeah i still do that sometimes, in front of math equations staring blankly straight back at me.

and you, what do you want from me? don't drag me around the bushes and leave me in its thorns. just say it. dammit. your hints are bloody big, but they're hints and words, i can't substantiate that. god. say it. whatever you want. just clear the air. i don't care what happens with us, be it last time or in the future, all i ask is you that you don't ovetire yourself. you have so many things going on, school, church and two jobs to keep you afloat. you don't wanna admit it but you'll run out of gas someday. don't act strong. i know you. you're stubborn. you don't take care of yourself. please do okay. don't say you want to pick me up from night study or send me to school when you don't even have time for yourself, neither have i seen you since i stopped going to church. stop this absurdity and mystery. your absence and presence is disturbing.

i'm turning into a hermit now. my social life's dead. i come online at bloody 4 in the morning, all i greet is a ghost of myself in 3 months to come. oh hell, my freedom comes only when i try to master the moonwalk? today i was sick. literally and fugaratively. sick in the stomach. pun intended. i went bowling. it was okay. dad taught my the spin. i don't know. everything seems a blur. i just bowled the damn thing, no satisfaction at hitting the damn pins down. no life. no air.

i have to go to school. i can't bowl. i can't sleep. i can't msn. i can, but i'll feel guilty. this feels like the time i was with jeff. restricted. very. more, in fact. gahh. i tell people to persevere, but am i breaking down now? you bloody chicken you. no space to fly, or not guts?

i'm sorry i blew you off today ben. i went back on my word to gym with you. was sick and down.
oh hell, did i actually give up gyming too? what else next, stranger in the mirror?

uncle has st mary's funfair this sunday. he's owning the music booth. he wants me to go down and DJ the funfair. should i? screw you, studies.

dad calls me an owl. pfft. i'm just girl with not more life. fuck the free world man. the walls are closing down on me. darkness looms. i'm sinking into a depthless whirlwind of blackness.

whoo hoo i feel great! i just breaked and i'm super hyper now. man haven't breaked in .. weeks? oh wells, nowi can do baby freeze MUCH better. i can stay up for a few minutes too. now can even move my legs. whoo! okay next i'll try develop the tripod to a handstand. pfft. i forgot 3 step! ohwells.

okay i know i haven't blogged like in ages, but what the hell. nowadays i wished i never got the call from ngee ann, or went for the intereview. it keeps replaying over in my head, over and over. i wished i'd get in. who doesn't. thing is, can i? kapoosh. bloody hell.

life sucks. studying time has to be doubled.everyone around me is studying. god, are they for real. i guess i'm just not disciplined enough. i really wanna double up and seriously just purge whatever i know out. life is crazy. everday the count down gets lower, and with each passing secons, the blade on my neck swings more precariously every second. just kill me. get it over and done with. damn you, school. damn you, studies.

my messages have not exceeded. neither has my phone been in use. aside from replying random messages, i ain't got no one to text. it's annoying. my usuals either blow their limit, or are jsut too damn busy. i hate singlehood. damn. right, starting to emo again. f.

i miss breaking. haven't broke in ages. that's what life steals from you. pfft. that is, if you call this life. right now, it's shit. dung. faeces.

i'm sitting in class now. a math. with chee sian here. we are holding a bitching session about the fucking pretty kratos. lol. she's so fucking annoying. cheese was telling me how she always ditched her and stuff. geez. such a bitch exists. she thinks she's bloody pretty who keeps looking at the mirror. hello la, her bird's nest hair so damn ugly, no friends still can ditch cheese. poor cheese. omg. feel bloody pissed now. everyone is so scared of her, she's a bloody prev. stop touching me, or simin, or yourself, for that matter. you gross pig.i may not know you well, but the time i spent with you, you're weird. like seriously. gahh. cheese doesn't deserve a friend like you luhh. pfft. i don't want to see your face during a math. get lost. RAWR, a math, i'm illegally using the com now and i'm staring at a pink screen. -.- HAW.

i got nothing to blog. pfft. lit lecture was okay. i got home late. dpa is stressful. i can't wait. now i feel tired, and i don't know why. i'm blogging in a weird way, i don;t know why. i seem to be writing in a poetic flow, but i don't relly care.
lit analysis is pits, only two in the level got a. you can go and die o's, i hate you. my life is the pits know, i am sad. come back, life, and i shall love you again.

gosh. thats a CRAP post.

okay since shaggy says my blog and it's so NOT, i shall blog a quickie.
i can't let my blog die lest BEAR will be very happy -.-
oh wells. been really busy lately.
i got a call on thursday from ngee ann, saying that my application for DPA has been shortlisted and i have an interview tmr.
it's sickening they gave it to me over the weekends cos that means ionly have one and a half school days to get things prepared, which is C-R-A-Z-Y.
rahhhh! i'm wasted my friday and my weekend, TOTALLY on DPA. it's like crazy. i really hope i get in. i so want to badly. mass comm, open your doors to sandra!!!

okay i gtg now.
bye.

i think it's a miracle. i've attended school for a week. without ponning. woo hoo! HAHA. yea i'm trying to not pon la. trying to make use of whatever available time i have. it struck me today that i only have 89 days. that's not alot. okay. panic button is on. geez. for once today, in chinese, there wasn't noise and shouting, there was actually silence, everyone was studying. and this is freaking me out. i was so tired, i slept. pfft. looks like i'm really gotta buck up. mm. other than that, life was pretty much the same. shankar didn't come so lesson was free and lecture cancelled. big gorilla was making the whole class pissed at her again by saying we were mocking by giving her a "cynical greeting". like wth. everyone was dead man. and she said she didn't deserve it. like hell she doesn't. lousy ass bytch. can't teach for nuts. admire christabel for having the guts to retort the gorilla. woo hoo.
bio had stephanie tryna blow up the lab and kill us all. geez. good luck to her tmr man.

suprise. i'm not ponning tmr. downloading some dance vids to my x-fi now. gonna met calvin right about now, to study?? hopefully.

today we went... SHOPPING. yes yes we bought many many clothes and stuff. mostly we just had alot of fun, crapping. what lizardcitis la, and demented elmos, oh gosh, it was just so hilarious. then we started cam whoring in like pepper lunch, when it was dim and all. we were like copying HJP's poses, which turned out oh so gross. HAHA. here were some.

time to eat!

SMILE.

FIGHT.

VIOLENCE.

FRIENDS AGAIN.

EXTRA PARTY -> the pontianak.

well apparently, after pepper lunch, having refueled our energy, we were in cam whorig mood. we friggin stood in front of taka, in front of everybody, at the fountain,. which is ALOT, and starting taking retarded pictures. here's proof.

the black skinnys with pumps threesome.

lizard group and the jungle keeper (huiying)

well. simin's feeling a lil' short.

in fact, i couldn't see her.

bernice tower, small dingy, sandra tower.

obviously bad imitation of simin's kutchipatchi mouth. =3=

Huiying's favourite, ARMPIT POWER.

TAKE THAT.

after satisfying our cam whoring nature, we headed down to far east, for bernice to get her stupid hair extensions. seeing she had 4 bodyguards, who were plain bored, we started cam whoring again. pfft. all these with 2 juniors spying on us outside, though for no apparent reason.

-.-

dead.

don't know what they were talking about.

stoned.

irony - angry, yet happy. evil, yet good.

camwhores/

i was tired. -.- so i lay down.

toture tray, with the stupid hair, which gives me the creeps.

feels like i'm in a stupid creepy dollhouse.

proof. it's like an insane hair palace, or a shrine for all the chucky-like dolls.

those who watched chucky, would know what i mean.