New year's eve to new year was great.
whatever came after, sucked. big time.
Not in the mood to elaborate i guess. I don't know what's wrong either.
i try not to start quarrels, but i do react to quarrels. I am human after all.

Recently, the guitar has been my current addiction.
every day i go back, i have the urge to play it.
by the time i get home almost every night, it'll be past twelve.
last night was the first night i managed to play it for long, an hour and a half.
it took my mind off my troubles, and i was happy, for the first time.
Sleeping at 2.30 for it was no problem at all.
Besides, i wasn't on the phone being all happy for people to get annoyed at.

At work now, i have a short-lived second time to make me happy.
Whirls of emotions were rushing through me and i couldn't take it.
I know i might get sacked for it, but i locked myself in the storeooom and played my music.
Without my music, i'd seriously, truthfully die.
Techinically, it wasn't so much the music that i'd get cuaght, but the locking of the storeroom and cwalking in the dark.
Cwalking calmed me. it was only 15 minutes, but it made me happy, contented. took me away from all the problems i'm facing. managed to work out new variations. i was satisfied enough.

Now i'm back at the real world, i'm numbed.
At a loss of what to say, brain run dry of things to do.