alrighty, i promised i'd post some pictures up. so i happen to just find this in my computer. so like yea. HAHA. her faces were stupid. -.- and hilarious.

oh that reminds me: i need a new webcam. :/

Sandra Cheng loves Vani Shankar.

NO I DON'T!

Hear me moo!

i weigh twice as much as much as you and i look good on a barbeque -.-

i totally love her facial expression. priceless.

Cheng Cheng. -.-

thanks. I SO love that name. -.-

I'm gonna kill myself at this rate. ain't nothing i can do but sit around and watch. I'm still not let in, locked outside. Push me away. Yet i have expectations to uphold. i hate being able to do nothing, to help, to feel caged. i keep taking and taking, i don't give a fuck if my lungs die out. i'll start damaging my livers too, for all it's worth. fuck it all.

i hate hot, ran-out-of-gas-coke.

New year's eve to new year was great.
whatever came after, sucked. big time.
Not in the mood to elaborate i guess. I don't know what's wrong either.
i try not to start quarrels, but i do react to quarrels. I am human after all.

Recently, the guitar has been my current addiction.
every day i go back, i have the urge to play it.
by the time i get home almost every night, it'll be past twelve.
last night was the first night i managed to play it for long, an hour and a half.
it took my mind off my troubles, and i was happy, for the first time.
Sleeping at 2.30 for it was no problem at all.
Besides, i wasn't on the phone being all happy for people to get annoyed at.

At work now, i have a short-lived second time to make me happy.
Whirls of emotions were rushing through me and i couldn't take it.
I know i might get sacked for it, but i locked myself in the storeooom and played my music.
Without my music, i'd seriously, truthfully die.
Techinically, it wasn't so much the music that i'd get cuaght, but the locking of the storeroom and cwalking in the dark.
Cwalking calmed me. it was only 15 minutes, but it made me happy, contented. took me away from all the problems i'm facing. managed to work out new variations. i was satisfied enough.

Now i'm back at the real world, i'm numbed.
At a loss of what to say, brain run dry of things to do.

i got introduced to a new band. their name is "rufio".
i'm starting to fall in love with their songs. : )

You're standing there alone
And so am I
But I want you here
By my side oh
Your smile at me
Tis everything
The staring game
That song of love
.
.
You and me
dancing the night away
You can feel my heart beating so hard
We look eye to eye
And I'm swept away
On a moonlit walk on the beach
Watching the sunrise for the first time
I'm in a trance
From the one slow dance

finally, the first time i'm using my house computer after the longestttt time. rawr. anyways i'm trying to force myself to eat my lunch cos it aint very nice. HAHA. oh wells.
happy new year and merry chrismas to everybody.
chinese new year songs are already starting to drive me insane.
and the confused turmoil of emotions raging in me are also driving me insane.
i need that pillar of strength.