ive got nothing much to say recently. just that i'm probably feeling better, and eating alot of good food. haha. yesterday attended a dinner at the conrad, i had to wear a damn dress. no comments. sheesh i got nagged as well for not going to church and all those too-goo-d-to-be-true stuff i refuse to repeat. today went out with godma. had a ball of a time. well, something else happened, of course, but all i can say is. it's been 3 days.

this thing has been weighing on my mind since night study. i know i said i wouldnt come online but i have to. i know your guard is up now, like everytime you see us together, you'd assume we're talking about you, when really we're talking about perfectly normal things. how did things get to such a stage? i mean, true, i may have done something last year that worsened things, but i do thank you for being so magnanimous about it and letting bygones be bygones. thereafter, i really worked at our friendship, guilt seeping from my past actions. but then, after one and half years, i was prepared to admit that perhaps my first impression of you was wrong. then this. yes, i do know what is happening, but that ain't the issue i have with you. i resent being treated like a disposable, i resent the fact that you always ignored me till you needed something from me. anyone's confidence would have broken by that, but i, either in faith of our friendship, or pure stupidity, stood by your daoness, being there as best as i could when you have stuff to rant, or when you were down over your break up. and after that, as you grew closer to thes rest of the clique, the distance btw you and me seemed to grow. maybe you didn't realise, maybe you didn't bother. if i hadn't been bothered about our friendship, maybe what you did wouldn't have mattered. the fact is, you throw me one side when you're done with me and you simply go along with life as it's normal.so much for friends. yea i accepted the fact that in the mornings you're prob grumpy so i don't bother you. but sometimes, i try to revive our dying friendship and talk to you and it gets to me how distant or cold or couldn't care less replies you would give. or when you've asked everybody in the clique whether they were free and they said no, then would you come and ask me. put yourself in my shoes. would you be "honoured"? would you be hurt? if sucks to know that you regard us so lowly. i didn't mind the fact i was like not top priority in your group of friends but the least you could do was to not chuck me to a corner. like that subway cookie thing. the blatant insensitivity of you could not come through any clearer than that. it was then i realised how much our friendship you really valued. it sucks being pushed, it sucks being used and manupulated, esp to have me on your side for this matter, as you did to the rest who really believe you. yeah, maybe i do derive a little pleasure complaining about your ways, about your doings, as a payback for what hurt you caused, which i know you probably wouldn't understand OR care about anyways. and i do feel guilty, because i'm human and i have a conscience about doing so. maybe the hurt is causing bitterness and vindication that derives my part pleasure, but i still sympathise with you a little for what you're going through now. maybe i'm asking you to let things go, of everything, of this whole blown-out-of- proportion thing with this group of people, but you are stubborn and you won't. someone told me to move on and i'd really try. you know what you did to each individual one of us. and all of us are trying to let it go. i wonder could you ? we never ganged up against you, however it may seem to be now. it was a matter of time before the truth got exposed anyways. this time i can't say i was the cause of this, as i was last year, for this year, it's purely youre misdoings. ultimately, you know us and all we're trying to do is to help you, in any way we can. but if you turn defensive and ignore our help, i guess there's nothing much more we can do or say as just silently wish you'd make the right choice. you may not believe it, but maybe you wont treat us as friends anymore, but we still do care about you, however stubborn you can be. and we never said much about you,so don't look so suspicious.
us wise, i really don't know where we stand now. today i heard something else you said a few days ago and it was a fresh wound to whatever you caused. if our friendship was all but a facade, and you never considered it real, please, don't act like it is cos i really did try my best to be there for you, when now i find out i didn't have to, as all i was was disposable to you.

this isn't meant for you to seem but i need an outlet to vent my frustrations. but in the event you do see it, i've nothing left more to hide.

The AfterSchool Crew was formed on 18 august 2008 by kwang kwang and me. :) our first crew session was on the 20th. and we had a blast. MO, you missed practice! so did wen!

today, we recruited another dancer, or at least, dance lover! welcome, DEBB, the next bgirl. and a few others.

so here's the latest standing of the crew:
co-leader: Sa Cheng ( i need a better name -.- )
(speciality: C-walk/"bgirl")
co-leader: kwang (speciality: body waves and hand waves)
members:
recruit #3: wenli (aka wen wen) (speciality: aces day dance specialist, wearing han bok)
recruit #4: bboy mo-zee (speciality: duh! bboy)

newest :
recruit#5: debbz (speciality: bbgirl)
recruit#6: amanda sim (speciality:)
recruit #7: zita aka pak kim chi (speciality: handstands and concert entrances)


pending requests: eggy, leh, lydia. holla' back yo'!

days recently have been a gloom. i don't know. its not like i wanna stay home, but my immune's system been going insane. ita's like in overdrive. and i can't do nothing to stop it. it's like one moment it's okay then i'll feel all horrible and wanna double up and die. sat was okay, then night everything went downhill. after eating,i'd feel like throwing up. i'll be in a damn lot of pain. then i'd have a headache, then i'll feel super lethargic and then hungry, and when i eat, the cycle repeats. it's so annoying. today i thought a lil' exercise might rrelive the stress and all i was feeling, instead, i barely lasted the usual 10 bowling games. come home and i'm shagged. i just finished dinner and i'm feeling so sick. what the ^&*( is wrong with me? maybe i got aids or cancer or something. the earth will have one less irritant then. life's a bitch. i've been having borderline fevers and i don't know .hot cold hot cold. -.- somebody save me.

the situation's escalating out of control.

today was grad day. photo shoot i mean. haha. it was stunning, seeing everybody drive up in varying colours designs of white. sheesh. oh there was a pontianak there too. aka horse tail! ahah. berns berns. whoo. jk. lmao. chris was in a dress. i tell you, everybody wanted her picture! haha. rare occasion. hoho. oh well.s picture shoot was fun. of cos got told of for my skinnys, but who gives a fuck aye. damn.
after that, we went for class breakfast, quite a big bunch of us actually, we managed to make ms koh come. heh. in the bus, they were drooling over thomas daley's diving. lmao. ate at this cool deli, intor-ed by ms koh. it was a blast, everything was yummy, yet pricey, an omelette cost 6 bucks, believe it or not.
then we went out. walked to cine, went arcade. oh well.s fun fun. benice was super funny, shuffling her feet in her gladiator heels. cos she had blister. i had too, but could still walk. lmao. rawr. the drum thing we played was kinda cool. clique was addicted to it. mm..
interesting things happened on msn. too many to describe.

to you. i'm not your fucking princess. i never was. i don't wanna be. if you don'tget it, i don't ever wanna see you again. in more ways than one. literally. get out of my head, msn, hp. i don't care. get out of my life. you're lucky i ain't blocked you yet. don't make me. you have a surprise coming. prepare yourself, you sob.

and you. i got nothing more to say to you. at least im out of your clutches now.

yesterday was the crew's first informal session. was super fun. just sat in the homeroom, eat, then play music and freestyle. damn cool. haha. our favs were the glides, body waves and cwalk. lmao. and the frigging handstand. -.- oh wells. i love school. like as in the friends..night study. but oh wells. we'll see next week. tomorrow should be fun.

well im sick the past two days. pftft. good and bad. oh wells. i'll be going to school tomorrow though. seems like a bunch of people can't see my blog cos of the pics, so i'll stop, for now. sigh. i'm FAR bahind in my revision. and i feel like dying. oh eff you exams, get the eff away. days has been passed not cwalking. haha watching some videos. my cwalking standard ain't up to par yet yo. and, i'm glad too. kwong sisters and me have been talking and we may set up a dance crew. like for fun. not really like dance dance for competitions and stuff, but for like fun, freestyle together, form a tight friendship with people who love dance. do the bocco bocco together. whatver. haha. THE AFTERSCHOOL CREW. hollarin' at ya, clique!

time for another picture explosion!

today was bloody fun! haha in the end we didn't manage to buy anything, cept for stupid gay watches but, it was one of the fun-nest days! first the moment i got out of the mrt, i saw the crew cam whoring by the river. i was like wth, but joined in. HAHA. there was some kind

of performance thing and we bought the badge. it was nice! we wanted to stay for the performance but we missed it. poo. we went round to shop after eating pepper lunch (again, i ate it last night wiht jas) we couldn't find anything. haha. then we were approached by this group of youngsters who asked us for time to perform some magic tricks. i guess the leader was this quite cute chindian looking guy (hoho!) and another chinese guy. this two performed the tricks, the other 2 are neglectable. anyways, the chinese one fumblede alot. the chindian one was goood.heh. quite cute him. :) i like his smile. funny thing is, they walked off and so did we, and next thing as we walked, me and simin saw them below. they were looking at us and waved, so we waved back. we walked further down and then the chindian laughed and shrugged his shoulders, and said "what", so i shrugged back, and i got beaten by the rest for being a "flirt" LMAO. SO NOT PLEASE. heh. then we kept bumping into them on the first floor. heh then he came up to talk to us as we entered c&k before he went off to perform. HOHO. oh wells. then we went to cam whore again! act emo. heh. mm. then we went bugis for random stuff. didnt buy anything, until we bought some gay watches, lmao. me and sw were acting gay the WHOLE day. as you can see. heh then the rest went off and we went "pak tor" at ps. then homed. sigh. this may be the last post for a while. :)

song wen emo.

gay partner talk.

gay intimateness.

not talking.

heartbreak.

couple shot.

sandra emo.

song wen emo.

sandra emos.

simin emo.

song wen cheated on me!

happier times.

yay!

portrait shot.

hello!

to the right!

so unglam.

mor unglam.

more gay shit.

always by my side :)

i discovered i had a mass of rubbish photos to put on my blog but i forgot. oh wells. here they are i guess. let's see, some super random ones, plus those taken went i went bowling with yh and her mum and my family dinner!!

amount of food yh and her mother ordered.

how much we ate?

theses two boys at the dinner were super cute.

my auntie's sisters sons.

the small one was so hyper. he literally climbed UP my uncle.

kick and climb. strong. VERY.

aunty, cousin, me!

us again.

mama's birthday cake.

and happy birthday to the rest of the kids too, who blew the candles out -.-

SUPER CUTE!

my dad's a lousy photographer.

my brother and me playing with the 2 boys.

he kept covering his face with the singlet!

playing sparklers in the car park.

lights!

my cousin has no childhood?

my ELDEST cousin has no childhood too!

jie lianne and me!

fun.

an an found sparklers amusing.

smoke pollution! where's the environmentalist!

the sparkler's sound at the start scared off everyone.

mr hyper.

a knife, fork, and spoon??

lunch in school one day.

i swear, the biggest pau ever seen. it's like 4 x the normal size!

i was.. STUDYING???

bear bear's creation!

magic peach turned chrysanthenim.

mutilated bottle part one.

mutilated bottle part two.

mango with some basil seeds thing. which looks like tad pole eggs. -.-

oh look it defies gravity -.-